A Whale of a Christmas.....Conclusion

The time had come...the journey almost complete. Without fanfare, without announcement, the tail of the humpback whale stood tall before us splashing down with a force and power beyond belief. Majesty and beauty swam silently around us.
One last time the captain trumpeted the news that what we had been waiting for was right before us, just waiting for us to behold with awe and wonder.

Stillness. Silence.
The commotion that had been evidenced earlier was no where to be seen. Cameras clicked minimally from outstretched arms instead of from an upright postition. Children were sleeping on deck, adults were slumped over in chairs and benches, drooling in a medication induced stupor. The long anticipated view was not beheld, but rather, ignored.
I on the other hand, was rather amused by the whole scenario, preferring to snap endlessly at the whales as well as the comatose passengers. After all, this is what we had journeyed to see in the first place!
As I ponder the Christmas season, may it be that we are not so enraptured with the fish, the dolphins, and the sea otters along the way that we actually miss the intended adventure. All too often the unimportant hurriedness of the season and the glittering to-do lists numb our hearts to the pinnacle of the seasonal excursion: to behold the Baby lying in the manager who came to save not the whales, but the World.
Merry Christmas!

A Whale of a Christmas....Part 3

As we sailed out for another 20 minutes or so Mr. Captain used the microphone to shriek with delight at the sight of dolphins leaping joyfully in and out of the water alongside our whale-bound boat. As people lept to their feet the cameras clicked away as if Britney Spears were waving and intentionally running along side our vessel.

Within a few minutes the excitement died down and seats were reclaimed like a game of musical chairs. Light chatter was interrupted by the sight of a small boy pointing his finger to the starboard side of the ship. After a minute or two we could easily make out the shape of a few small brown sea otters playfully rolling and swimming in the beautiful ocean swells. What a magnificent sight I thought as the clicking resumed and the chatter began again.

We've got to be getting close I thought to myself. It's been almost an hour and a half. Finally, the chance to glimpse one of God's most majestic creatures was within our grasp....

A Whale of a Christmas... Part 2

As the boat began to fill with people our captain announced that each passenger was required to take a motion sickness tablet in order to proceed. Understandably, the crew didn't care to swab the deck any more than necessary so the mandatory pills were passed and we were on our way.
Heaving stomach contents was my hobby during pregnancy (a memory quite easily regurgitated, pun definately intended) so I knew that only half a pill was required to quell my queasiness. Other voyagers mindlessly swallowed a whole pellet, some even two.
About 20 minutes into the journey the captain excitedly announced that beautiful schools of fish could be viewed from the starboard side of the ship and as if on cue all the passengers lept to their feet and began digitally clicking away at the panaromic wildlife.
Oohs and Ahhs could be heard as we continued to sail onward in search of the fabulous Humpback whales.

A Whale of A Christmas!

I have a long-cultivated love/hate relationship with Christmas. On one hand it's a wonderful time of year with celebrations of love, joy, and an almost-expected consumption of chocolate. On the other hand it is chock full of extra ovarian-specific chores like excessive baking, wrapping paper wrangling and department store parking spot vulturing. I always say the month of December is like camping: regular life made harder.
Due to an obvious strain produced by the impending holidays my loving spouse decided to take me on a business trip with him to Monterey California smack in the middle of December. I was estatic even though the work load increased exponentially on either end of the trip. Who cares I decided, and the sunny coast of Pacific Monterey beckoned.
To fill an empty day I ventured on an exciting boating expedition in search of Humpback whales. The tour took a group of us two hours out into the beautiful ocean spray and what I gleaned during the journey will be the subject of my next four blogs.....keep reading to find out how the meaning of Christmas was so bountifully and hilariously displayed on my seabound journey!!

Herbie doesn't like to make toys...

Today my son came home from school and informed me he was told to bring some Christmas jokes back to school for his show choir performance. In truth, every year they tell horrible campy schtick jokes during the Carnival and Carols performance and I wince, desperately wishing they would come up with something actually funny.
This year the director asked the students to come back with good material, and Camden was all shiny and hopeful that his comedian mother would supply him with some and make him look the star.
"I don't like to tell jokes" I said in a small meek voice. "I want to be a hu-mor-ist and tell funny stories."
"WHAT? You're a comedian?!#% And you don't like to tell jokes?"
Why am I such a misfit......